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11

Tequila_Wolf wrote

I only trust people to be themselves, and I recognise that people come with complex histories that may make them act in ways I don't expect. The significance of those unexpected actions for my understanding of them is really all that is important to me.

Answering your question further probably would require a more concrete situation for me to work with.

6

[deleted] wrote

0

israelitoad wrote

No offence, but this sounds too much like hierarchy to me. Putting people into boxes of "friends", "good friends", "best friends", just excludes others. People are just people. No reason to put a label on it, even if you're close to them.

6

GaldraChevaliere wrote

For a lot of folks that's not really viable at all, especially from vulnerable groups. Giving people more trust than they're proven deserving of can be seriously disastrous, not everyone wears their true intentions on their sleeve. Conversely, investing too much or the same energy and faith in somebody that's flatly just not ready to take it on can strain the relationship and be overbearing and presumptuous. Being able to tell a casual friend you play DnD or work with from a comrade or lover you can implicitly trust to back you up on anything is often a matter of survival.

6

Cheeks wrote

Not well, not well at all.

It always puts me at odds with myself. I want to write them off, yet give them the benefit of doubt.

3

Infinity wrote

Forgiveness is divine.

People act in ways which are not the same thing as who a person is. That is why it's called acting.

Also, we often interpret actions to carry significance defined by the individual perceiving said actions.

--In social psychology, the fundamental attribution error (FAE), also known as the correspondence bias or attribution effect, is the claim that in contrast to interpretations of their own behavior, people place undue emphasis on internal characteristics of the agent (character or intention), rather than external factors, in explaining other people's behavior. The effect has been described as "the tendency to believe that what people do reflects who they are". --(from wikipedia)

3

Infinity wrote

When faced with rejection, after the sting of my ego wears off and I can develop the capacity to bring awareness to my priority which is to be an emotionally developed person, I try to take it in as an opportunity to learn to be a better person which often comes with getting over myself.

A little bit of ego death is good for the soul.

It's an opportunity to learn to be a better human being and practice some humility. If you have the strength. Liberation is a hairy pill to swallow.

3

Jessica wrote

Make sure they know that they betrayed you. If they show serious remorse, continue being friends but don't trust them with classified intel. If they show no remorse, cut them out and consider the betrayal a price to pay to see their true nature.