Submitted by roanoke9 in AskRaddle

Wasn't sure where to put this. This is not to advocate workerism, job having or homeowning. But I would like to keep my house and garden. And it is likely that without some kind of wage labor, I won't. The mere process of searching and applying for jobs threatens to put me in a depressive spiral.

To put it bluntly, an hour of job searching and a single application makes me want to unalive myself. Then it takes about a week to get back to a sort of treading water equilibrium, before starting again. This is unlikely to yield results in the current job market, ugh. I hate asking for advice, but :Any advice?

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moonlune wrote (edited )

yes totally! I got kicked off unemployment last year because I only applied to jobs I liked and apparently that was too little for the parasite that overlooked my file.

I turned my job searching into a game sorta, I made my cv into website which gave me something to brag about for employers but also helped me sorta spend time looking for work and polishing my cv while also not doing it either.

Although when I finally got a job two months ago it was because a recruiter found me on a job board and not because of job applications so I can't help much.

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roanoke9 OP wrote

I got unemployment for a bit, managed to keep up with that bs at the time. Then state claimed it was an error and eventually have to pay it all back. Basically means I never get unemployment again. Last period of joblessness before this one, I got a call back from a job that I turned down a year prior because it was half what I currently made. By then I was desperate enough to take it.

I am close to desperste enough to re-applying at a nearby job I worked one day at and quit because they give no official breaks in an 8hr shift. At least I'd get one paycheck but no clue how long I could possibly stand that. When I was younger, I could power through almost any job at least a year, but no breaks in 8 hrs? Never experienced that- & I've done roofing, cab driving briefly, a nasty factory for over a year: it's not like I' m used to the "good life".

Don't worry about advice quality. Somewhat needed to vent frustration in a venue that wouldn't just respond with : get over it. And also don't want to dump on my wife and worry her more. I do alot of household and garden stuff but she's working, paying and managing all the bills. That has her stressed enough as it is.

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ruinsociety wrote

I got the same issue. Job hunting is ridiculous. These clowns don't even want me to kill myself working. And its not like the jobs I'm applying to are good jobs anyway.

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veuzi wrote

Being unemployed and having to apply for jobs is actually worse than having a job. I've always kept to doing minimal effort with my applications, but I got my current gig with good timing and luck. This hotel I'm now working at desperately needed more housekeepers and was willing to hire people without direct work experience in the field, was what I was told.

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MHC wrote

{The mere process of searching and applying for jobs threatens to put me in a depressive spiral.

To put it bluntly, an hour of job searching and a single application makes me want to unalive myself.}

Consult a health care provider.

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roanoke9 OP wrote

That is hilarious. Are you doing a bit? Or are you a bot? You know this isn't reddit right?

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MHC wrote

{threatens to put me in a depressive spiral.}...{That is hilarious.} Depression is not funny!

{Are you doing a bit?} I don't understand the slang of your dialect.

{Or are you a bot?} I feel dehumanized!

{makes me want to unalive myself.}...{You know this isn't reddit right?} Suicidality is a serious symptom! One in eight people with clinical depression, die from it.

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roanoke9 OP wrote

It was not my intent to dehumanize you. Sorry. Your comment came off like the standard pro-therapy suggestion, which on reddit is sometimes automated. Doing a bit is play-acting a role as a joke. I see that is not what you are doing.

I am not trying to advise anyone else but therapy is not for me and I resent being told I should go there because I have profound difficulty with the job hunting process. The job hunting process is horrible. I have had therapy before. I was unimpressed with the results but count myself lucky that my experience with the horrific mental health system has been limited and without major negative consequences. Many are not so lucky.

Ironically, given your advice, the hunt for therapy or medical services is similarly tied to beuaracratic bullshit, with the bonus that cops may also be summoned. I am not making light of unaliving yourself in general, nor depression. By the medical model, I have other conditions in addition to depression. My risk is far greater than 1 in 8. I have been far worse off and survived without intervention. I don't use the medical model for myself and do not regard the medical establishment as my friend. I personally regard imprisonment as worse than death for myself so your suggestion to risk that to avoid a lesser fate struck me as funny. I see our value systems are quite at odds so that makes it extra hard to communicate.

I posted this on raddle to vent about job situation and how difficult it is in a place where I would not have to do this conversation we're having right now. Since you insist:

Saying get help is a way of making yourself feel better because you have passed the responsibility off onto the officials who are tasked with "helping". I do not want their help. I am managing my situation despite difficulty and will continue to do so. I, as the arbiter of my own mind and body absolve you of responsibility for me. You can rest easy. The person responsible for my life (me), has now told you that you do not need to intervene.

Further insistence that I give up my autonomy to people who would lock me up, or force unwanted "help" on me will be taken as antagonistic and I will block you.

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MHC wrote

{It was not my intent to dehumanize you.} I scored autistically weak for empathy.

{Your comment came off like the standard pro-therapy suggestion, which on reddit is sometimes automated.} I have attended two funerals for consumers who had lost the battle! I am not familiar with Reddit.

{Doing a bit is play-acting a role as a joke.} I am not familiar with Arts speak.

{I see that is not what you are doing.} I am trying to communicate clearly, across a cultural divide.

{I am not trying to advise anyone else but therapy is not for me and I resent being told I should go there because I have profound difficulty with the job hunting process.}

I suggest diet, exercise and meditation.

{The job hunting process is horrible. } I automated that.

{I was unimpressed with the results but count myself lucky that my experience with the horrific mental health system has been limited and without major negative consequences.} I found psychiatric interrogation, terrifying!

{Many are not so lucky.} The average gap between onset of anxiety symptoms and disclosure to a physician, is twenty five years!

{Ironically, given your advice, the hunt for therapy or medical services is similarly tied to beuaracratic bullshit, with the bonus that cops may also be summoned.} Stigma is a serious issue!

{I have been far worse off and survived without intervention.} Health tends to deteriorate with age.

{I don't use the medical model for myself and do not regard the medical establishment as my friend.} In the elderly, practising yoga reduces need for medication.

I visited a lock-up on the day of its closing. And I learned that its imprisoned population, received medical attention such as a dental checkup. {I see our value systems are quite at odds so that makes it extra hard to communicate.} Your profile here was blank.

{I posted this on raddle to vent about job situation and how difficult it is in a place where I would not have to do this conversation we're having right now.} In my territory, unemployment is officially 3%

{Saying get help is a way of making yourself feel better because you have passed the responsibility off onto the officials who are tasked with "helping".} Getting institutions fixed, I found was long, stressful, and expensive!

{I am managing my situation despite difficulty and will continue to do so.} Join an association of people with similar difficulties.

{I, as the arbiter of my own mind and body absolve you of responsibility for me.} I knew a woman who became seriously paranoid. Thank you.

{Further insistence that I give up my autonomy to people who would lock me up, or force unwanted "help" on me will be taken as antagonistic and I will block you.} I am freedom loving. Having one fewer person to communicate with, would simplify my life!

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roanoke9 OP wrote (edited )

You seem like you are speaking in good faith, so I am not going to block you. I already do some yoga and meditation and spring will bring more excercise. Security prevents me from giving too many details about my life but I am in US.

People without jobs are numerous (official numbers only count people getting state assistance for unemployment- which ignores most people without jobs). If someone is not in favor of therapy, psychiatry, religion, the state or a cult finding others who will not push you towards one of these five things for support is highly unlikely. I will take material support where ever I can get it, but baring my soul in exchange for dubious life advice is not a good idea.

The popular opinion in US is that covid is over and basically solved. So what passes for "sanity" is a profound denial of reality, even without discussing the hierarchical systems that are accepted as natural. This was always the case, but has worsened in the past few years. Seeking help for "mental health" is a devils bargain. Conditions are attached but support is often not available or is actually harmful.

I did not fill out profile here, you can look at comment history. I vary in tone from flippant to serious so it is probably a confusing read.

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MHC wrote

{You seem like you are speaking in good faith,} I try to.

{spring will bring more excercise} You are in the northrn hemisphere.

{Security prevents me from giving too many details about my life } Your profile might list your interests here.

{I am in US} I found that country's culture strange!

{official numbers only count people getting state assistance for unemployment- which ignores most people without jobs} That undercounting is unusual, as countries go.

{If someone is not in favor of therapy, psychiatry, religion, the state or a cult finding others who will not push you towards one of these five things for support is highly unlikely.} I am used to health care consumers, joining associations of such.

{baring my soul in exchange for dubious life advice is not a good idea} I correspond with a depressive person, diagnozed with schizophrenia.

{The popular opinion in US is that covid is over and basically solved.} In my territory, news reports many hospitalized, and a few deaths!

{So what passes for "sanity" is a profound denial of reality} I presume that stigma there is rampant.

{the hierarchical systems that are accepted as natural} You might consider self employment or small business.

{Seeking help for "mental health" is a devils bargain.} Perhaps you might learn, such as of quality of working life.

{Conditions are attached} I am very careful about that.

{you can look at comment history} My attempt to do that--timed out.

{ I vary in tone from flippant to serious} I tend to be too serious.

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roanoke9 OP wrote

I also regard my country's culture as strange, and not in a good way. The popular opinion about covid being over is completely incorrect, they just pretend it is. The stygma is rampant but in some circles it is being reduced in favor of everyone being in therapy, medicated until they become good obedient workers or good obedient dependents of the state.

I have done self-employment but am in process of changing directions with it. That may turn out better than wage work anyway. I relate to being too serious alot of the time, but my mood varies alot so sometimes I take nothing serious.

I can learn without talking to "professionals" and doing that is help in itself. The devil's bargain I referred to was that getting diagnosed and asking for assistance puts a person in touch with the mental health system and "officials". It seems very risky to ask for help from a system that considers what I call harm to be helping me. Inpatient treatment where one is locked up is harm to me. Taking medications they choose for me is harm to me. Some non-medication treatments I consider harmful abuse but are popular treatments. Telling the whole truth to a stranger obligated to contact authorities is asking them to harm me.

I regard death as preferable to being locked in a room. This alone is considered not a sane opinion to hold. How am I going to even converse with a doctor who views locking me up for a few days as a minor inconcenience at most? To be clear, in order to get "treatment" that would accurately address issues, I would have to admit things that required in patient treatment to be mandated. Are you familiar with the phrase Catch 22? It means: Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I will take my calculated risk of avoiding "official" help.

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MHC wrote

{The popular opinion about covid being over is completely incorrect} I estimate that disease has killed twenty five times as many, as has the Ukraine war. Is your country spending 25 * as much fighting the illness, as propping up Kyiv?

{everyone being in therapy, medicated until they become good obedient workers or good obedient dependents of the state} The Soviets so abused psychiatry!

{I have done self-employment but am in process of changing directions with it. That may turn out better than wage work anyway. } Good luck.

{I can learn without talking to "professionals" and doing that is help in itself.} Eighty percent of adult learning is nonformal.

{The devil's bargain I referred to was that getting diagnosed and asking for assistance puts a person in touch with the mental health system and "officials".} I saw a medical student scream at a consumer!

{Inpatient treatment where one is locked up is harm to me.} That is my view of being required to sit down in one spot indoors all day, while being watched!

{Taking medications they choose for me is harm to me.} I obtained advice on line, and told my physician what to prescribe!

{Telling the whole truth to a stranger obligated to contact authorities is asking them to harm me.} My former physician, got another patient jailed!

{I regard death as preferable to being locked in a room.} This is my argument against supposed freedom of choice. We spend decades getting told to obey. Starting with sitting still in rows, at preschool!

{This alone is considered not a sane opinion to hold.} Here urban gas stations are sited on side streets. So as to hide ugliness. The same goes with people deemed problems!

{How am I going to even converse with a doctor who views locking me up for a few days as a minor inconcenience at most?} I dislike that profession's cliquey self-service. [Sigh]

{To be clear, in order to get "treatment" that would accurately address issues, I would have to admit things that required in patient treatment to be mandated.} I know a severely anxious guy. His doctor has no idea of his mental condition. As the former regards the latter's profession, as jailers!

{Are you familiar with the phrase Catch 22? It means: Damned if you do, damned if you don't.} Zugzwang in chess: whatever you do, you'll be worse off!

{I will take my calculated risk of avoiding "official" help.} Your self therapy of yoga and meditation, will help.

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