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CaptainACAB wrote

I've never known anyone that gets along well (as in, actively attempts to maintain contact on any basis) with all of their biological family members; so I'm in the "pick your favorites and move on" camp.

I'm lucky in that I'm fond of several blood relatives (they still piss me off sometimes, but I can't see myself cutting ties with them; that's basically how love works, I think); my inner circle is basically full at this point; others aren't so lucky and have to form that circle on their own.

The worth of maintaining said bond is proportionate to how much you value keeping that person in your life (nostalgia won't heal the rift. I've tried. Three times with three different people.); I haven't spoken to two of my brothers, but actively maintain contact with my Dad.

I think the best way to tell if you're not haunted by the ghost of "family" is if you're able to ruthlessly prioritize which individual members you value more than others and live your life.

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