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tuesday wrote

once upon a time I pretended that I was straight. This was after coming out in high school, because there were no queer adults that I knew or saw (before the early aughts media was a vast wasteland for queer representation in the media) so I reasonably assumed that you couldn't be a queer adult (.......sigh)

But I kept having all these queer feelings (you know, like queer people do) and so I started to GO TO CHURCH about it. y'all. I put myself through conversion therapy.

It ended one day after we went on a fellowship trip to see the Passion of the Christ in theater. Afterward I basically RAN to the nearest catholic church, which happened to be St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC (beautiful building) and threw myself on the front steps, on a very cold ass february night, with like that gross old snow that gets dirty and nasty just piled everywhere and WEPT. full on heaving ugly cry sobbing and there I am just a puddle of a human and this homeless person walks past and is like "what the fuck are you doing right now?" and I was like .... what the fuck AM I DOING right now????

That's how I became a gay.

The end.

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