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tuesday wrote (edited )

Today I'm making a cake.

This is related to anarchism because I stole the mix and the mixer that I'm going to use to make it.

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tuesday wrote (edited )

cake was good.
I don't normally make cake.

my day to day is this: I wake up when the animals start to whine and get angry for not being fed. for most humans i believe that time is around sunrise (maybe earlier) but these animals are the best and they let me sleep until 10:30 or 11. then i get up, take my morning medication, and let the dog out into the backyard so she can do what dogs do in the morning, bark loudly at all of the other dogs in the neighborhood; jk the dog doesn't bark. She poops and then licks the pavement of the stairs that lead into the house, while I take a quick shower and get into a black dress.

Fun fact: i only own black clothes and only dresses and skirts and tshirts with the pants exception being overalls.

then I make everyone breakfast including myself (usually a tofu scramble with sweet and regular potatoes and whatever veg i have on hand, but sometimes oatmeal or leftovers from dinner). then i fuck around online, either here, on discord or on r/@ until noon or one. then i get into school mode and do school work which involves a lot of reading really infuriating opinions on why the constitution doesn't actually mean what it says and instead means this other thing that is actually not a thing congruent with being something that one would call freedom and then writing about it or writing incredibly fiddly documents that has language like "wherefore" and "thereto" and "fore-with" and "hereto" while pretending to be written in plain language. I do that on and off for the rest of the day while also fucking around on reddit and discord and here and taking breaks to clean up around the house or throw in a load of laundry.

Then 5pm is dinner for the animals because that's when they start asking for food again. I eat around 7 or 8, either a big salad or some combination of some kind of rice with some kind of bean and some kind of mix vegetables in some kind of sauce. sometimes there's potatoes instead of the rice and beans and sometimes it's gluten free pasta and sometimes there's meat, but usually not, depends on if someone's given me any. Then I'm done with school for the day and around whatever time the sun sets I go out for a wander through the neighborhood with the dog.

Then the rest of my night is either spent reading or fucking around on the internet or playing video games (currently on my 3rd playthrough of cyberpunk 2077) or playing table top role playing games with friends and smoking pot, or drinking, but rarely both in the same night.

On days when I have class after the animals and I have breakfast I drop the dog off at my parents house (because she gets anxious when she's alone) and I drive two and a half hours to campus. Once I get to town I drive around to some of the little free libraries and drop off zines then I hit up campus and drop zines off in places where people leave literature, maybe put up some fliers and stick some stickers onto some walls or w/e. Go to class and then get home around midnight. Pick up the dog and come home. That's the whole thing.

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[deleted] wrote

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tuesday wrote

I made gf pancakes this morning. they were ok. idk if it's possible to have a gf bread thing that's actually fluffy like wheat is. very sad. I might give up on that project. like I've found decent gf pasta take does the trick but actually finding bread that's breadlike has been a challenge

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[deleted] wrote

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tuesday wrote (edited )

let's just say that bad things happen in my gut when I eat wheat so I avoid it as a rule.

alas I'm terminally single so no girlfriend pancakes for me.

I've been trying out a bunch of different gf pastas. so far chickpea pasta has been the best in tend of texture and taste.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

jerk off in my fap cave and larp on the internet

bonus points if you get this inside joke lol

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miggyb wrote

I just work and read news and feel bad

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SnowCode wrote (edited )

I pass a certain amount of time on Raddle and Discord. Here it's the holiday so I don't do much but I have to study this stupid social science course and math (I like math though). I'm surviving while studying this because I make parallels with anarchy/philosophy and because I can make up silly stories to help me remember the legal cases and shit.

The rest of the time I listen to music, read and write stuff about anarchy, make/host free software or open source Discord bots.

I also fancy the idea of creating a zine distro or something like that as well as living a more minimal/ecological life and stuff.

Also sometimes I make websites for some people to get a bit of money and I love laughing at some stupid clients lol (all businesses calling themselves "experts in digital marketing" type of bullshit)

Edit: Less stupid

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[deleted] wrote

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SnowCode wrote (edited )

lmao, I didn't even notice I use this word so often. Btw, welcome to Raddle!

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lettuceLeafer wrote (edited )

wake up like 5:00 AM feel like shit from remembering the anxiety of being alive and making decisions. Watch AMV's and browse raddle for like 20 minutes until I stop dying inside (well suppress it enough to do get up and do some drugs). Do some drugs. Brush my teeth and floss. Note I do sleep in my clothes and I rarely change them these days. I try to change underwear once in a while but I put the same clothes back on. I also keep all my things in my pockets to spare the annoyance of emptying them. Wallet, keys, poketknife, multitool, lighter u get the picture. I also do not comb hair. Then I usually either do either or shadow boxing, meditative martial arts, yoga or regular old meditation. I then go eat some food.

Thankfully I was the one to teach my brother how to get ready for school on his own so I used to have to dote over him but thankfully I relieved myself of that misery. I usually either shitpost or do work for my various fairly unprofitable entrepreneurial ventures / training to do them better. Then since I somehow without noticing it got the responsibility of doing like 80% of the work to take care of my brother from my parents I check in with him make sure he is all good. I then take care of the dog and suppress my urge to just let the dog do whatever and run around to their will. but I sigh and realize the consequences of if I let the dog loaf off and get shot or run over or stolen and go back to enforcing property lines on the dog and be a fucking cop.

So then I'm done and fucking drive the kid to school bc I have been turned into a soccer mom aparently. Not my idea but I'm the only one who will do it lol. So now its like 8:30. Oh I did forget a key detail. See my mom leaves early so around like 6:30 there is like a 35% chance she is having a fucking crisis and barks orders at me getts into a screaming match with my brother bc he loves to fucking dump gasoline into her fucking emotional breakdowns bc he is a dickhead 12 year old, or like looses her shit about some random bs that is a minor inconvenience at me. Then a bit later the dog will check in with me howling and whining not about going outside or being fed but to try and get dog treats out of me. (it never succeeds btw). Than usually about 75% of the time my brother who is at the age of being an absolute prick combined with his home life and being mercilessly bullied at school and role models at home who are all pricks (myself included) is a absolute monster to be around. Then around like 7 my dad occasionally will talk my ear off about the struggles of being old and decrepit with health problems and manual labor for like 10+ hours a day everyday occasionally yells at me about some nonsense. Tho hes shuts up after I just say yeah ok. So hes like a blip in the pain in the ass generally speaking tho he is a absolute prick on certain things holy shit.

And arround like 6.00-6.50 Its either some annoying bs from my brother. I try to politely ignore and sometimes engage with, barks orders at me which I end up getting into a disagreement with about how it doesn't work to talk to me like that "why r u trying to be a spitting image of mom blah blah blah) Well anyway now u get to the fucking driving section where I just focus on driving and try to ignore him its like a 20 minutes drive btw. Where its like 40% him annoying the shit out of me on purpose or like trying to insult me to get under my skin and 50% him fucking listening to obnoxious ass shit like alf or fucking reaction youtubers and like 10% of me trying to calm him down his anxiety about having to go through the fucking horrors of school.

Then when I get home at like 8:30 what I do usually depends on how I'm feeling. In cases where I feel shittier a lot of moping around and fucking around. If I'm on my euphoria rushing bullshit about my latest scheme to do like an anarcho american dream I usually work a lot and have a decent amount of fun. This also includes keeping up with a basic amount of housework tho u can only do so much due to the complications of the horrible fucking hoarding the parents do.

Its a real fucking capitalist hellscape I tell u, almost anywhere u go there are like 5-10 foot tall stacks of just bullshit one of the two bought that no one will fucking use. Also don't fucking touch any of it bc reasons lol. So u do what u can to clean up and tbh, u can't do much bc its just so fucked tbh.

Lately this time is sprinkled with just like mild emotional breakdowns for reasons that are hard to grasp due to many many sources. Lately about htf I am supposed to keep up with all this bullshit and do stuff with my house. Sometimes I try and call my dad to have him pick up my brother so I can work on my house and I get lectured by the guy who prob has never talked to a black person in his life or ever went to said city about how its a horrible plan and ur just going to be killed by the murderious drug dealers and all the poor people are just gonna steal all ur shit and then after all that bullshit about everytime he sometimes can do a little. I mean he is a fucking 60 year old man hes fucking hopeless in trying to get him to do additional house stuff that isn't his fucking decision.

Somewhere in there I usually go outside to not loose my mind. Tho tbh, most of my stuff is on the computer and there is just not that much space tbh so I spend most of my time plugging away at a computer. Interrupted several times a week by my mom calling me for some fucking bullshit chores she fucking signed me up for or some fucking bullshit at my brothers school happened so I have to go pick him up or something essential breaks in the house septic tank backed up, furnace won't light, refrigerator leaking into the basement so I usually fix what I can and then call my dad and sometime in the day he comes over and I have to drop whatever I'm doing to conform to his schedule to work on fixing said thing.

So then I have to go get the kid and fucking do whatever bullshit he got signed up for sport or fucking doctors appointments therapy whatever. And then deal with whatever shit that entails fucking having to stick up for him bc the coach laughed when telling me about kids attacking him or fucking keeping track of how his appointment went.

Then u get the fucking ignore the 12 year old brat experience again but this time its somehow even worse bc hes in an even worse mood after being tormented all day. Then its back to the standard fucking around, exercising and working at the computer but now many times thought the day I get fucking aggravated by some fucking hormonal preeteen who hates being alive and has only ever really have fucking abysmal role models who annoys the shit out of me, trys to pick fights, insult me and bark orders a little bit throughout the day when he gets bored of the screen or fucking starts dealing with learning the horrors of his existence and copes with it in his few ways he knows.

Sometimes I try and give him some better outlets and do stuff with him but tbh, I don't have the fucking will to deal with that shit most days. So its mostly just working, taking a break when u get to stressed or whatever or sometimes just giving up entirely. And then whenever u get bugged u ignore it, calmly deescalate or on the more rare occasions when I can't fucking deal with that shit a "god, go the fuck away and play on the computer or anything just leave me alone."

Then it gets late in the day like 7-9 and I take care of the dog and then people slowly come home. My dad most times ignores me and like 40% has some boring ass shit to tell me that I couldn't give a fuck about or some fucking bullshit to do. Then my mom gets homes about about once or twice a week gives me about an hour long (literally) sob story about her fucking life and I do a damn good job of being a good fucking therapist bc god knows its a pain in my ass if I dont calm her down. And then usually another 2 times a week u get a brief sob story and complaints. And then sometimes I get the genuine pleasure of them attacking each other and leaving me the hell alone.

And as u can imagine if my mom and dad fight its like the most heinous arguments u can imagine. In case ur curious they basically for my entire recollection hated each other but where too poor to not financially depend on each other. So u go to bed to these grown ass adults having actually fucking .5 to like 2.5 hour arguments where they say the most vile shit to each other bc they both are incapable of deescelation.

Their frequent topics include u tricked me into having that kid, ur fucking crazy, I'm taking the kids and ur never gonna see them, u need to leave the house u are no longer allowed here, fuck u pay me my half then I'll leave and never come back ect ect.

And then u wake up to do it all fucking over again. And the days all fucking blend together. And in fairness I make this sound depressing as fuck but like I enjoy it mostly. I mean my life is currently leaps and bounds better than it has ever been so ehh. Plus, idk I'm poor and dealing with shit heads for financial survivability is just a given. So I mean I could leave and fuck off but like my door to having some kind of safty net would almost certainly close if I just dumped taking care of all this shit on them. Also, it gives me a lot of peace of mind to not leave my brother alone with those jakals of parents I love.

no I don't want advice bc I'm actually pretty confident with my life decisions mostly. Bc I know some fucking, middle class academic is going to try and tell me how I'm living my life wrong.

/u/annikastheory I hope u enjoy me typing all that shit out. It was kinda cathartic and funny to try and explain my normal bc writing it out it doesn't seem a bit strange.

Edit: my life isn't that much of a victimhood sob story I just like to write in a dramatic way

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[deleted] wrote

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lettuceLeafer wrote

That's partially it tho I feel a lot more strongly about it due to it being the only back up place to stay if a plan goes astray. I would feel way more anxious about taking risk if I would like just be homeless if I fucked up.

I mean I mostly like my brother tho my parents I could take or leave tbh.

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Fool wrote (edited )

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[deleted] wrote

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Fool wrote

I just typed in grey squirrel - I was expecting to find a pub.

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moonlune wrote

im a neet i browse the web and listen to music 10 hours a day.

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kin wrote

Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy.

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when_you_sleep wrote (edited )

in my free time i like to learn new things, lately i've been interested on history, specifically the russian revolution, i also want to understand communism, socialism, anarchism, etc, i just know the basics about them , so i want to dig deeper, that's also how i ended on raddle, aaaand i've been listening to sewerslvt and machine girl lately, and i guess that's it, oh and i also hate myself 24/7, though i think u can already guess that by my username anyway ¯\ (ツ)/¯

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