Submitted by halfway_prince in AskRaddle (edited )

partially motivated by the post earlier about cheating in relationships, I was reminded of some discussions i've been having w/ a romantically involved comrade about anarchist relationships and the frameworks which can support individual autonomy and foster the (somewhat) necessary trust that comes with an intimate physical relationship.

The URL linked below is to an essay/zine called "settler sexuality" written by indigenous students that may be a helpful starting point for discussions/reflections (if folks are interested) :)

http://keinfoshop.org/zines/settler-sexuality.htm

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d4rk wrote

Always ask them on the first date if they want a bookshelf. If not just walk away,

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Fool wrote

You're actually a bookshelf salesperson aren't you? /s

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d4rk wrote

Bookshelves are the only fair product ngl. Sustainable, reusable, salvageable, can be used for a long time. But that wasn't why.

Other than railing them on the side of the bookshelf, It could also mean they've got or are interested in intellectual pursuits

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[deleted] wrote

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d4rk wrote

Part yours, part mine

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kin wrote

Sapiophilia. it's inspiring and passionatE to have someone with lots of intellectual baggage ngl

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lettuceLeafer wrote (edited )

I don't think I explicitly bring anarchism into my relationships. I am a manifestation of my own personal philosophy so it inherently changes my relationships dramatically. Stuff like feminism, anti transphobia and racism, queerness, valuing my own and others autonomy, countering societal stigma and influence, analyzing why I feel certain ways, understanding internalized and external toxic emotional actions and generally just being way better at listening, being empathetic and creating good communication. These things fundamentally have changed how my relationships function for mostly better and a few worse ways.

I also am able to attract way more people am attracted to an incredibly large group of people but I am also far far more picky about who I tolerate being around and only dating people who encourage and are interested in my less traditional lifestyle.

I am way way better at having supportive and compashionate relationships and am way better at communication. I also give way less of a fuck in general too.

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groovygardener42069 wrote

Mutual trust and respect are the cornerstone of any of my relationships or friendships. Without that, I am not capable of the level of vulnerability required to maintain a healthy and productive relationship. I can't speak for anyone else though.

I would like to reiterate that poisoning the well by breaking mutual trust and respect with those you love is not valid praxis, and if one of my good friends did that to their partner I would probably think twice about letting them into the circle again (partly out of a sense of respect for the person whose trust was breached, and partly because issues of trust are a personal safety issue for me).

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existential1 wrote

I find that this question is more interesting when asked specifically about when things go wrong. Its easy to postulate about whats does or doeasnt happen in the best of times.

My answer...not sure. I tend to keep my problems to myself. Dont ask much about others as well unless they seem to want to share. Feel it isnt really my business.

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kin wrote

This is one of the questions I ask me constantly. Not only for romantic relationships but for all my relations.

I usually thinks in prefiguration and queerness, and navigate with the idea that we have to support ourselves wholeheartedly. Maybe poliamour and the adjacent ideas dunno. I usually have clear thought in this matter talking in person, bc I feel more than I think.

A few months again I posted in r/anarquismo some texts of one good zine about anarchist love, they are most by queer anarcho latinas, the other English texts I posted in the eng sub, mostly E.Armand, Emma Goldman, Malatesta, and maybe other not explicit anarchist stuff.

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