cw: sexual assault

Should i be punished more?

Submitted by AsphaltMilling in AskRaddle

Hello, i'm new here. Let me introduce myself.

When i was in highschool i molested three girls at different time while i was riding motorcycle.

And then this happen, things that make me sad...

I didnt graduate highschool, im difficult to get a job, im 28 now. I was a bad kid, always angry at my family. I didnt graduate school because i often skip class and didnt finish my final year project. Religion was my most hated lesson because i couldnt understand arabic and the final project is about electricity. I was in a vocational school. I 'buy' my diploma without any knowledge in automotive.

And ...

a girl approached me like a girlfriend without my effort to approach her first. We are friends for some years, not a special friend just friend but it make me sad that im not her special boyfriend.

And ...

On my probational job period i act weird. I suspect something is wrong because a new co-worker has a name similar to the name of my project. It makes me overthink for three months and didnt perform well on my job. I lost my potential job.

This all before i know anarchism. That makes me think when im go out there will be a punishment event again. Or is it finished?

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Fool wrote

I'm not completely following everything, but I'm guessing English isn't your first language, and that's okay.

Are you talking about some sort of divine or karmic punishment? I'm not sure how anarchism relates.

I think your own mind will be the decider of ongoing punishment, whether you learn and change, and if you find who you are and who you once were.

If punishment on a societal level, I have no idea, where you are and what sort of events are held. Maybe they'll hold a fun event instead? /s

A side note: I think you should look into attention deficit disorder (ADD). I'm not saying you need to be fixed or something, but it might help you. But understanding my brain has helped me... Well I hope it has.

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celebratedrecluse wrote

This all before i know anarchism. That makes me think when im go out there will be a punishment event again. Or is it finished?

Well, did you make amends with these people? Did you take accountability for your actions? Were you honest with those close to you, that you had done something violent towards others? Did you take steps to change yourself, so that you don't hurt someone again?

If not, these things may come up again. It's not about "punishment", so much as it is about protection for the people around you. However, sometimes the way to take accountability for your actions, is realize that the other people may not want to help you be accountable. At that point, you'd just have to live with it, and deal with the social consequences as they come. In many cases, the kind of violence you perpetrate is simply not addressed, so you will probably just "get away with it".

However, I would encourage you to still be open about your past with people that you trust, and also to surround yourself with people who promote and foster a desire (and committed action) on your part to be accountable and change your behavior. This will lead you to the best life that you can live.

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zephyr wrote

who or what do you think is punishing you?

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