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celebratedrecluse wrote

the family is a bioessentialist and oppressive force, linked in many places to settler colonialism, consumerism, and really fundamental reification of hierarchy itself.

the reconstruction of kinship bonds between people who enter into them consensually, who are usually not related to each other by blood, can be very healing. I encourage you to explore investing your energy and time into relationships of care and friendship with people who you see as worth it, when both of you feel similar affinity and both consent to the friendship and nurture it with mutual and fulfilling labour.

It is also really good to get comfortable with being alone, as most people experience profound loneliness and alienation in this age. Being okay with not being connected to others creates the condition for truly consensual relationships, both familial, sexual, and aromantic.

The lack of consent in bioessentialized "families", particularly nuclear families, is the foundation of so much abuse and reproduced generational trauma.

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[deleted] wrote

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celebratedrecluse wrote

it can be helpful to hear what you already know, from somebody else's mouth.

i hope you find power in your journey away from this situation. solidarity

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Majrelende wrote (edited )

One thing that helped me as a nonbinary person with family is persistence, though I am not sure how well this would translate, since there was not much perception of an existential threat for my family in the realm of gender.

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[deleted] wrote

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Majrelende wrote (edited )

Yes. But again, nonbinary gender is not always perceived as an existential threat; anarchy, I imagine, is.

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rot wrote

move out if you can. sorry if that's not helpful but if they don't respect you you're probably better of without them

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