Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

An_Old_Big_Tree wrote (edited )

I think that the standard good understanding here is that some people are are monogamous by orientation, while others aren't. I have a sibling who genuinely wants to be with one person for the rest of their life. They are monogamous.

I have never wanted this. I do not have monogamous relationships.

Monogamy is oppressive just insofar as it is a norm that is imposed upon people who don't want it, or would not want it if they had the opportunity to live otherwise, in any of the multitude of ways that norms get imposed upon people.

14

[deleted] wrote (edited )

2

An_Old_Big_Tree wrote

My monogamous radical friends are monogamous by virtue of the fact that they want to be with only one person. They don't actually require that of their partners.

So monogamy doesn't solve your problem of jealousy necessarily either.

0

emmaloldman wrote

Monogamy is oppressive just insofar as it is a norm that is imposed upon people who don't want it...

I think this is the key point. I'm monogamous by choice...it's just how I prefer to experience relationships. However, I totally support people with other preferences.

2

An_Old_Big_Tree wrote

There are a lot of people out there who think they're monogamous because (in substantial ways) they don't know that there are other ways to be.

It's not enough just to support people with other preferences, but to tackle the shape of society such that people's preferences aren't predetermined by normativity.

6

emmaloldman wrote

Great point! However, my monogamy is deeply personal and a product of my own choices rather than a socialized normative prescription. I do understand the latter absolutely exists though and should be challenged whenever possible.

5