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SnowCode wrote

Yes I saw your edit :)

However I don't think this count as "deconstruction" at all, if one change nothing in their way of thinking, communicating, etc; how can one claim to have deconstructed anything in the first place?

I can hardly see deconstruction and re-building as being two separate actions, to me re-building is the act of deconstruction itself.

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fortmis wrote

Maybe we just agree to disagree on that point because I see them as different -- mostly because I have seen so many situations where there is only deconstruction and no re-building. Only absence of things, no imaginative thinking -- only a lack of bad things and not a proliferation of new good things...

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roanoke9 wrote (edited )

Can you give an example interpersonally, of an absence of something? I agree with snowcode I think, because I don't see how your point is anything but wordplay. An absence of a rock on my front steps is different than the presence of a rock on my steps. But the absence of hierarchy in a relationship? That would be the presence of anarchy in a relationship, end of story imo. Now, claiming there is an absence of hierarchy or presence of anarchy in a relationship (saying we're not monogamous but not doing it, that might be flirting with the idea of anarchy in relationships, which is a seperate issue from this presence/absence dichotomy.

Or this is just misunderstanding- because unless the work is put in to develop better communication rather than defaulting to normative role filling, then hierarchy is not reduced or removed.

This discussion probably deserves its own thread btw.

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