First I should point out that most definitions of 'commune' wildly conflict with anarchy:
"organized for the protection and promotion of local interests, and subordinate to the state; the government or governing body of such a community."
So to avoid confusion, let's not use this loaded word at all and instead try to instill an anarchist bent to the concept of community... Let's just call it 'friendship', since that's essentially all we desire from an 'anarchist community'. Trusted friends we can live with, play with, learn with.
So how would I suggest you come to decisions in your arguments with your friends?
Well, I wouldn't.
People don't need me or anyone to direct their interactions with their friends or dictate to them how they should define and fulfill their relationships.
If you and your friends need me to prescribe you a program to adhere to in order for your friendship to function, you're clearly not interested in practicing anarchy.
Why even put the effort into maintaining the friendship if you need to involve an external body to create systems, laws and processes to ensure the friendship remains equitable? If your friend isn't being fair to you, why are you still their friend?
And if you're not friends, why do you care to reach consensus with them? Why share experiences with them and tie your fate to their desires if you don't even like them?
Is your idea of 'community' a suffocating debate club where people who don't even get along have to endlessly negotiate with each other and reach some arbitrary consensus in order to continue to co-exist? Wouldn't it be a lot easier to just not enter into formalized relationships with people whose values so conflict with your own as to provoke such intractable conflict?
If you desire anarchy, make your own decisions unhindered by the decrees of lionized authority figures and their taped-together social systems. Only you and your friends can decide how to best maintain your friendships. You don't need formal rules of association before you can form bonds with other humans you wish to commune with.
No one should presume to possess the power to tell others how to solve disputes they have with their friends. If you can't get along with a friend without ordinances from above then just don't be friends with them.