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extremecouponing OP wrote

It does personally bother me though. That's like saying because I'm white and straight hearing racial or homophobic slurs doesn't personally bother me either, but it does, because hearing people use those harmful words, especially towards others, hurts. It reminds me of all the pain and oppression in the world and how deeply ingrained it all is and it just tugs at my soul a little bit whenever I hear someone use ableist language as well

It's called empathy sweaty /s

I do understand it's kind of odd to enforce behavioral norms that I don't understand, but that is literally what I am trying to do right now, understand. I already know that it hurts some people, so now I am trying to understand so that I can speak to it better

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lastfutures wrote (edited )

Is it the same? Because presumably you can explain why racial or homophobic slurs are a problem, whereas with ableism you're just taking someone at their word without understanding it, and then enforcing behavioral norms. Like, I'd hope you don't uncritically take up the anti-racist norms without thinking about it either?

see what I was getting at there sweaty?

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RadicalConstructivist wrote

If you had multiple gay people tell you they think homophobic slurs are a problem, but didn't full understand why, would it not be reasonable to refrain from using them out of respect for them? Or, at the very least until you have a better understanding of it? You might then find that, having a vague idea that homophobic slurs are harmful, you get bothered when your partner keeps using them. What might you do in that situation? Perhaps you'd make a thread in a space that claims to be for gay liberation asking about it, only to find some smug git jumps on you about how your basic respect for and desire to understand the perspective of those people is just "moralism" and "towing the party line".

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lastfutures wrote (edited )

If that were the case, when I asked why didn't they say that's the reason? Ie. they have friends who have expressed to them that it hurts their feelings to hear those words because of x, y, and z experience. If multiple people told you that your language hurt them, that does sound like a reason to change your language. But that doesn't seem to be the case here - or anywhere - when it comes to the language being discussed. I've literally never heard of anyone sincerely objecting to the benign use of the word dumb outside of this weird controlling groupthink shit with insular leftists. OP's responses to my question doesn't indicate they have either?

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