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extremecouponing OP wrote

It does personally bother me though. That's like saying because I'm white and straight hearing racial or homophobic slurs doesn't personally bother me either, but it does, because hearing people use those harmful words, especially towards others, hurts. It reminds me of all the pain and oppression in the world and how deeply ingrained it all is and it just tugs at my soul a little bit whenever I hear someone use ableist language as well

It's called empathy sweaty /s

I do understand it's kind of odd to enforce behavioral norms that I don't understand, but that is literally what I am trying to do right now, understand. I already know that it hurts some people, so now I am trying to understand so that I can speak to it better


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RadicalConstructivist wrote

If you had multiple gay people tell you they think homophobic slurs are a problem, but didn't full understand why, would it not be reasonable to refrain from using them out of respect for them? Or, at the very least until you have a better understanding of it? You might then find that, having a vague idea that homophobic slurs are harmful, you get bothered when your partner keeps using them. What might you do in that situation? Perhaps you'd make a thread in a space that claims to be for gay liberation asking about it, only to find some smug git jumps on you about how your basic respect for and desire to understand the perspective of those people is just "moralism" and "towing the party line".