Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

lastfutures wrote

I'm questioning why they are working backwards. They aren't offended by the words, they don't understand why anyone is offended by them, but they are somehow upset that their partner hasn't stopped saying them because they told them to??? That doesn't send up red flags for you?

1

extremecouponing OP wrote

I did say, "It bothers me because I know I have talked with people before who do consider it to be ableist"

I could have maybe made that a little bit more clear, but I do know people who consider these words to be harmful. I wouldn't necessarily call them friends, but a few different former comrades of mine have found this word to be personally harmful.

I'm also literally asking here so that I can understand. I'm not enforcing behavioral norms, nor am I full on upset with my partner, just have mentioned to her that I understand those words to be ableist, but do not entirely understand why, which again, is why I'm here asking about it right now. Just because I don't understand the history, doesn't mean I can't tell her about the people I know who take personal offense to those words, and that I personally understand it to be ableist. I'm not starting a fight with my partner over this or otherwise manipulating/gaslighting her. Just relaying the information I have currently, with the understanding that more info is probably good in this situation

2